Here are some tips on parenting in Islam, extracted from Sheikh Abdur-Razzaq bin Abdul Muhsin Al-Badr’s (Professor at the Islamic University of Madinah, Teacher at the Prophet’s Mosque, may Allah preserve him) lecture entitled “Tarbiyyatul Abnaa.”
Tip 1: Make Dua for Your Children
Always make dua to Allah swt to guide your children to the correct path, make them become a better person, protect them from the severe test of this world, and make them become among the righteous. Allah teaches us to ask for righteous spouse and progeny in the Qur’an (Surah Al-Furqan : 74). The Prophet (ﷺ) said: Three supplications are answered, there being no doubt about them; one of them is that of a father. (Abu Dawud, graded hassan by al-Albani).
Tip 2: Show Good Example
Strive to become an example for them in doing good deeds, obeying Allah, and staying away from bad habits and wrong doings. Hence the expression: “الولد سر ابيه” which means “The child is the reflection of the father’s character.”
Tip 3: Be Patient and Adapt
Parenting involves hard work of teaching and disciplining with patience, love and perseverance. Teach them good manners and keep the line of communication always open. Guide them when they encounter difficulty, encourage them if they do good, and restrain them if they fall into bad things.
Tip 4: Utilize Good Means
Teach and guide them in using technology and gadgets correctly and for the good of their iman and dunya. Whether watching or listening to recorded lectures and classes, books, and other means that can benefit the child positively.
Tip 5: Beware of the Bad Means
Instill Taqwa (consciousness) of Allah in them in order to prevent them from falling into destruction. Parents must monitor them closely to protect their Deen, their worship of Allah from being contaminated by shubahaat (confusions) and shahawaat (desires).
Tip 6: Know Your Child’s Friends
Work hard in making sure they have good companions, and guide them on choosing good companions in life. This confirms the saying of the Messenger of Allah: “A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.” (Abu Dawud, graded Hassan).
Tip 7: Don’t Forget The Responsibility
Parents must remember the importance of raising and educating their children correctly and they are responsible and answerable in front of Allah. The Messenger of Allah said that each of everyone is a shepherd and will be responsible over his flocks (Bukhari & Muslim).
Tip 8: Learn from the Past
Read and learn from stories of great and pious people of the past. From them we will learn how they were raised, how they raised their offspring and what made them great.
Tip 9: Don’t Expect Fast Results
Do not expect immediate results. Education and guidance of children must be done with kindness, compassion, mercy, advise, patience and to explore the best method in overcoming any problem.
Tip 10: Focus on Obligatory Solah (Prayer)
Work on concentrating on the commandments of Solat (prayer) and its preservation as Islam places great emphasis on it. The Messenger of Allah commanded us to teach the child to perform solat when they are 7 years old. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Command your children to perform Solat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten. (Abu Dawud – Hadith Hassan). Indeed the prayers will prevent from evil deeds (Surah Al-Ankabut : 45).
*Heads up for Al-Khaadem’s Raising Righteous Offspring 2015, coming soon this August in-sha-Allah. Get updates on Al-Khaadem’s activities here.